My husband was arrested on domestic violence charges and false imprisonment. He tried to get the police to arrest me for trespassing and adultery. The police pretty much laughed in his face considering the circumstances. He was sentenced to probation and was required to go to anger management classes. He began taking medication for his mood “issues”, but didn’t stay on them for long. The divorce went through without a hitch. It was pushed through in 30 days due to the violence. I was not able to keep him from visitation rights because he didn’t do anything physically violent in front of my little girl. For the first year after our divorce, I didn’t have to worry much about his visitation time anyway. It was a rare occurrence that he would keep her for the whole time he was allotted. My little girl cried every time she had to go with him. I knew he wasn’t paying her much attention; he liked his online video games too much. She seemed to be too much of a distraction from that. He just couldn’t handle her.
He was remarried a year later and that is when my little girl actually started wanting to go with him for visits. His new wife, as much as I hate to admit it, was good for him and my little girl did like her. I still feel a twinge of jealousy when my daughter talks about her stepmom, but I take comfort in the fact that she knows who her Mommy is. My ex-husband and I have since developed a mutual understanding of sorts. I tell him what he wants to hear, but still do what I am going to do regardless of what he says. Now keep in mind, this doesn’t apply to life changing decisions or anything. I’m referring to the little things that he thinks he should be in control of when it comes to her upbringing. For example, when she gets sick, he wants her to take this medicine or that medicine. I agree, and give her what I choose regardless of what he says. You have to understand that even now he tries to control what goes on in my life and hers. Down to the details of how I should cook her food, wash her clothes, and brush her hair. The one thing that we will never agree on is the issue of child support. I refuse to placate him on this issue, and really can’t agree to anything and then do what I want. I don’t think any separated parents will ever agree on this issue. This is why when there has been any question or disagreement; we have always let the courts decide. This is one area where we are content in disagreeing and letting someone else decide what’s fair. Surprisingly enough, we don’t even fight about it anymore. So, this pretty much is the ending of the First Beginning on my road to being a single mother. The next installment of my blog will be on the Second Beginning of my adventure, and thankfully is much less dramatic. Is there anyone out there reading this yet?
